Important Rule In Life: Think Twice

Today, we had a game. I left near the end of the game to go to 7-11 for a fucking slurpee. I got in trouble. And you know what? That was the worst drink ever. Guess what it tasted like. Guilt. Guilt and stupidity and naivety and idiocy. I mean how can I be so damn stupid. I just had to follow what they did. I got in trouble for it. So do yourself a favor in life. Think twice. Things that might seem good at the time could have consequences. Think twice. Know what you're doing before you do it.

Three's The Charm

Obsessions are kinda part of life, I think. So it's okay to be a little obsessed with cleanliness, perfection, or even numbers. I'm obsessed with numbers, well just one. The number 3. Yes, three, three, three. I love that number. I really do. I like doing everything in three. If I don't, I can get a little crazy, err, crazier than I usually am. So if someone calls you a freak for being obsessed with a few numbers, they're the freak because you're not the only one. They're the abnormal ones, not you. Oh and by the way, THREE IS A MAGIC NUMBER! Yes it is, it's a magic number. (I'm also obsessed with former Dream Streeter Matt Ballinger <333)

Anonymous Quotes...

Okay so I was reading on fictionpress.com, no life remember?, well anyways, I found this awesome quote. It's anonymous. "If the world didn't suck, we'd fall off." I mean I was thinking and I was like wow. How ironic. It's true in a literal and figurative sense. I mean (I been using that excessively huh?) if there wasn't any gravity, we'd be in space and life sucking is just, part of life. Without the bad things, we wouldn't have the good things to balance them out. Yin and Yang people. Dark and Light. Good and bad. Okay yeah, that's all I wanted to say. If the world didn't suck, we really would fall off.

Walking Hormones

I'm 14 years old and it's Spring Break. No offense to my friends but their dramatic bullshit (I hope they don't read this.) is so boring. What I'm trying to say is that I have no life and I don't really want to hang out with my friends. I mean when they asked me to go with them to the mall, I was begging my dad not to let me go. Yeah, that's how annoying their trials and tribulations are. Ah, the joys of high school. Note the sarcasm. And you'd think I would be the dramatic one considering I'm the freshman, they're older than me! Seriously wow. Well anyways, back to the point, because I wanted my break to be dramatic stress free, I haven't gone anywhere with my friends or did anything. Hell, the last time I saw them was last Friday. I know this is really mean to say but I'm practically jumping up and down yelling yippee at the top of my lungs. I really don't enjoy large intakes of drama. It's ironic since drama is a drug. I guess I'm one of those people who aren't addicted to it. I like it but seriously, at school it's enough. Okay I'm rambling so moving on.

My boredom totally got to me so I read this story on fictionpress.com called Fire And Ice. In one of the chapters, the characters called guys walking hormones. I thought it was insanely funny and the scary part was (dun dun dun) wait for it, wait for it...it's so fucking true!!! Excuse my German (I know that it's suppose to be French. I like being different. Sue me, actually don't!). I was out with my dramatic friends, and a specific person, who shall not be named, was totally checking out every female. When I mean check out, I don't mean he was just looking at her. No, I meant he was rating each girl head to toe. Not overall, each part. The good, the bad. Yeah, all he could think about was her breast and buttocks. What the hell is with that? No respect. All he saw was her boobs and ass?? WTF? Guys are walking hormones. And if that isn't proof, I don't know what else is. If you're a guy and you're reading this, even you sensitive ones, don't try to deny it, because it's true at least part of the time. I'm not saying all the time but at least sometimes you are one.

Think of Me and I'll Think of You

Insomnia is when you can't sleep. A lot of people have it. *cough*My brother*cough* Do you ever wonder what causes this? Well, I remember my mom telling me and my brother how if you can't sleep it's because somebody is thinking of you. So whenever I went to bed but couldn't sleep, I'd ask myself the same question. Who's thinking about me right now? And when I had my crushes, I'd wonder if he could sleep when I couldn't. Was he thinking of me, like I was thinking of him? I'll never know.

When you go to bed at night, when you can't seem to fall asleep, your thoughts drift off to a specific person, a real person or maybe even fake (Like me, what's the point in denying the fact that I have a dream guy in my mind?), and you wonder if they're thinking of you or if they are even real. And if you're lucky enough to be able to glance out your window, look at the sky, because the person your thinking of might be looking up at the same time, thinking of you. So Mr. In My Dreams (I don't want to say my dream prince's name, it will ruin it.) I want you to think of me. You do that and I will think of you. But it wouldn't matter because I think of you every minute of every single day.

Hate Has A Real Definition And A Fake One?

If you hate someone, you don't like them. You loathe them. That's the definition in the dictionary but if you really think about it, is this true? I don't believe it is. I was reading this story on FictionPress.com and fell in love with one of the quotes. The story is called 'When You Own The Universe'. Jonah Mills, one of the main characters, told the girl he loves an amazingly truthful quote. "Hate isn't the opposite of love, it isn't even close. Hate is just... angrily caring for someone. Hate is feeling so powerful about someone that you can't help but show it. Just like love is."

I believe that every word of that quote was the truth. Hate and love are similar emotions. Hate isn't loathing, its the opposite. Hate is love, angry love. And that's all it is. Angry love.

Next time you want to tell someone you hate them, think twice because it's just saying "I love you but right now I'm mad at you."

A Hidden Message

Everything is a symbol of something greater, more powerful. Everything. The sky, grass, hell even a calender has a meaning behind it and I'm not talking about the obvious one. I mean, the calender marks how short your life is. And how you should live it. Plan ahead but make sure you have some open dates for the unexpected. The grass is the beauty of nature. It's like a mini Earth. Full of life and beauty. There's death and life. It has everything but the most important symbol is the sky.

The sky. It goes on forever and ever. It has no end. Just like love. Love is translucent, it conquers all. That's why I don't believe in unrequited love, I used to but I don't now. The sky is beautiful day and night. Just like love. That bright blue with the white clouds rolling by. You could look up and admire it for hours with no end. It's beautiful and perfect no matter what. Love is beautiful even if you have hardships. The sky sometimes is boring because there are gray clouds that cover it but if you wait long enough, the sun will brighten everything up. Same with love, you will overcome the hardships if you wait. And if it's true love, you have the strength to wait forever and never need to because love conquers all. Love will make everything better, everything would just get brighter. At night, the sky is a midnight blue, almost black and the stars are so bright. It's a wonderful sight. It's breathtakingly beautiful. Amazing. Isn't that what love is? Beautiful and wonderful and amazing. That's all it really is. A sky. Love is a sky, that's all it is. That's how important it is.

Everyone out there looks up into the sky and admire the beauty. Is it not just love they're admiring and adoring? Like the sky, love has no end. It goes on forever and forever. Next time you look up at the sky and see those clouds, the sun, moon, and the stars, think about what it really means. How much importance it possesses. How much we need it. And how much we need love.

If You Cried Me A River, I Would Save You From Drowning In It.

If you cried me a river, I would save you from drowning in it. That's the first and last two lines of a song I wrote in seventh grade. It's called Hero. Cliche much? Yeah, I know. I wrote it for a guy that I used to like. When I mean like I mean head over heels infatuated. I did everything for him. I even changed for him.

I changed my look, my "sight on life", I even changed my favorite hobby and the music I listened to. I have changed since then though. I have a more optimistic sight on life but everything else is the same. Well, my look is similar with the exception of the more bright uplifting colors. But like I said everything else is the same. He changed me. I'm mad at my seventh grade self for letting a guy dictate my life but in a way, he opened my blind eyes. He got rid of the blindfold and now a real smile is plastered on my face, not a forced fake barbie-ish one. I actually used to think I loved him but I guess I loved how he made me change. I love the new me now. I'm not as stupid and he helped me figure myself out. I don't look in the mirror and ask myself "Who am I?" because I know who I am because of him. And for that I'm very grateful but I doubt I would ever admit that to him. I haven't talked to him since seventh grade. Yeah, two years. But I will always remember those words that changed my life forever. "It's a really good song." He may not know it but that phrase. That line was the reason why I started writing songs. Started loving lyrics and started loving music. I used to be annoyed with music. I'd rather watch TV but now I would rather listen to Matchbook Romance or even Ryan Cabrera.

Everyone has that time that opened up there eyes to reality. Their first beginning. Before him, I was living a 13 year chapter in my life. A never ending chapter or more like prologue to my life. But now, because of him, an old crush, I'm living life with each day being a new chapter, an exciting chapter, and life could never be so imperfectly perfect. If you cried me a river, I would save you from drowning in it. I never cried a river because he saved me before I ever needed to.

Dramatic Stress

Okay. Everyone goes through it, especially in high school. I like to call it dramatic stress. Over analyzing everything from boys/girls to more boys and girls. "It's so complicated! I love him but he loves her!" I'm not trying to be mean by mimicking people who say that but don't think I'm a bitch. I've felt that way before too so don't say you don't know what it's like when I do. Well, at least I used to.

I used to feel like I loved him but I never did and probably never do. I'm in high school. I don't love him, I used to like him but I don't anymore. Isn't it ironic how we go through so many crushes when you're a teenager? You say you love them but then you find somebody better. It's really weird. You'll cry about unrequited love and then you see a random hottie pass you by and make those googly eyes and drool once again.

Dramatic stress, I think it is made in our heads to be bigger than it truly is. Do I really like him/her? Does he really like her/him? We ask ourselves this over and over again when we shouldn't even bother. A lot of people I know tell their boyfriends/girlfriends that they love them but I doubt they really do. Infatuation and love really are practically the same. The difference is that one is an illusion of the other, those feelings are fake, infatuation is just fake love. We go through over analyzing our feelings for someone when the truth is we don't even have feelings for them. It was just a waste of time.

Everyone should stop wasting their time and stop being naive. If they do, they could finally open their blind eyes and see the only thing that they were looking for was waiting for them to realize they were there. Open your eyes, you'll see something you never dreamed of seeing. And you like it, you'll love it.

Infatuation/Lust vs. Love

A lot of people out there are hurting because of an emotional disease, unrequited love. But lucky them, its curable, they just don't know it.

Heartbreak, sadness, we've all gone through it but most of us make it out alive just to be caught in another ditch. You know how it's said, you can't choose the person you love? That is so true but sometimes the person you're attracted to isn't the one you love. You know it too, you just don't want to face reality so turn to him/her in desperation. You think they are what you want until you find someone else.

It hurts to know that the person you like doesn't like you or want you the way you want them. Face it. It's not love, its lust and infatuation. You have made it so you think you love them because they are the closest to your dream prince charming or princess.

The truth is, you have one but not that one. Everyone is perfect for someone else. There will always be that somebody. Just find them. And stop hurting yourself. Put a real smile on that face.

A Fake Superstition

Today it was raining. Hard but with some breaks. They say that rain is a bad thing, that it is a sign of bad luck. You wanna know what I think? Rain makes everything okay. It washes away everything, including the bad stuff.

You want me to prove it? Well today my badminton team won their first game in a very long time. When I mean long I mean long. Against Willow Glen. Is that surprising or what.

If a team like us (I'm not trying to make it sound bad.) can win our first game 8-7 against Rams then I'm pretty sure anything could happen. And rain is not a bad thing, its a great thing. Don't believe in every superstition.

An Alternate Universe

There's a reason why you are on your computer. And have a Toshiba or Sony or another LCD screen in your house. There's a reason why I write lyrics. And there's a reason why I read. Why, you ask. Well, its simple really. We all want to escape reality. Real life.

Why do we try to hide from the real world? We want a vacation from the anger, hurt, sadness, betrayal, and lost that we feel. All of those negative emotions that make life unlivable, well to us. Watching, reading, and writing (I'm not saying that what I'm writing right now is fake, unless you believe that. Hey, if its your opinion good for you, yeah, don't care) are fantasies, dreams we want to escape to. We fantasize about a place we want to be and sometimes it will feel real. Who hasn't dreamt of being Bella Swan or even Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. We all have, probably, okay maybe not guys but you never know. (No, I don't fantasize about being Hannah/Miley, I just used that because many people know her.) We all do this because we don't like who we are. We always want something more.

It's nature so it's okay right? Well, I know I love my life and wouldn't trade it for anything but sometimes, I dream too. So I read. Yes, and write. And Watch tv. I do all this to free my self from reality. From the real world. It's good to dream, it is because if you dream enough, your alternate universe will collide with your real one.

Hopeless Dreamer

What is a hopeless romantic? A lot of guys don't know. It is really ironic since many are one but what makes a hopeless romantic a hopeless romantic?

I always thought that a romantic was a sweet person who thought how to make dates perfect, how to make your life suit you the way you want it to. Someone hopeless is someone who is desperate. Would do anything so there. That's a hopeless romantic, a desperate lover. He/She would do anything for you.

Okay, here comes my questions. Unanswered questions. Well duh Jen, that's why you're asking them. Oh geez, now I'm referring to myself in third person. Uhh (yes, that is how I spell it, not ugh, uhh.). Are hopeless romantics real? Or are they just made up for Hollywood? Is there such thing as a guy who knows how to be cheesy but sound sweet at the same time? Or am I just a hopeless dreamer waiting for Prince Charming to come and rescue me?

Green Grass

So they say that the grass is greener on the other side but is it? Well, personally, I don't think so. I used to but I guess it was my naivety talking. I'm a teenager so I don't understand a thing, right? Wrong. Dead wrong.

The grass is not greener on the other side. It never was and never will be. Heaven is what everyone calls perfection. Everyone thinks that the best things are in heaven when they are very wrong. Is that why people commit suicide? They think death is better than life? Well, it's not. I know this because The grass is greener on this side. Not in heaven. Not in hell. Not after death. Life is green, beautiful, perfect. You may not believe I'm right but I believe so. I really do. I'm not just saying this because I can, I'm saying this because I'm not blind anymore. I see the light, and that light is my life.

Sounds like I'm dying but I'm not. I feel alive. Finally, I feel peace. It's funny because I used to think I could not live my life without him. Without Prince Charming. But guess what? He's not Prince Charming and my Knight in Shining Armor is out there. But if I don't believe that, then I can't live my life. I would believe that the grass is greener on the other side when he's on this side. So what am I going to do? Smile for that polaroid camera and live life. Not just live but feel Alive because the grass is greener on this side.