Hurry up July, come quick!

Every word that comes out of his mouth benefits him. Every action he does satisfies him and only him. The only person that matters to him is him.

My very non-judgmental best friend says he's an asshole. My other best friends say to just stop talking to him and others ask why the hell I hang out with him.

Last weekend, I paid for his food at a movie theater. When I told his friend about it, all I got was a head-shake and a "Girls should never pay for the guys." Oh, and to add to that, he complained about what I got him.

He annoys the hell out of me and loves to sarcastically tell me, "What a good friend you are." He thinks I'm a bitch and he loves to bitch about himself.

He likes to talk about himself and he doesn't even know my first name. He's such a great friend, I'll cry when he joins the Marines, which he will do in July.

He doesn't know the difference between Marines and the National Guard either. I mean, in the movie theater, he would talk about how he would be one of the guys in the NATIONAL GUARD commercial. When I corrected him saying that the Marines and the Army were different, he said I was wrong.

Now tell me again how this will work? The most selfish person I know is joining the military. The military is about helping people other than yourself right? So, why is he joining?

Hopefully, basic training will make him think twice about life and actual care for someone other than himself for once.

Movies are based on life.

Today, I watched the movie, Keith. It has Jesse McCartney in it so I'm pretty sure you can understand why I picked it. Well, this movie reminded me of something I have been going through for the past month.

October 13, 2009. That would be the day that storm that hit San Jose. It was raining hard and the wind was blowing all day. You would think that the weather would be an omen but it wasn't. Somehow, it was just the opposite.

After school, a guy who sat next to me in my first period asked me to tutor him because he was new to the class and he missed a lot. I said yes and he told me that it was strictly tutoring. I think that was the turning point of everything. I guess you could call me a rebel. I don't like being told what to do. At that moment, Jake, my last crush, completely left my mind after being there for months.

That night, JJ, the guy I was tutoring, called and he asked why I always gave him "mean looks." The truth is, one of my closest friends hated his guts and I am easily swayed in any given situation but I didn't exactly want to tell him that because said friend and I were on no-speaking terms. I said the second thing that came into my mind, "You voice is annoying."

Even though JJ probably doesn't remember, he was in my first period last year too. His voice used to be so loud and obnoxious, it was horrible. I remember thinking he was so cute the first time I saw him. Then, he had to open his mouth. Now, I honestly don't know what happened because he is so quiet, it scares me.

The first time we had a tutoring session was perfect. He got his homework done and he understood it. There is one problem, that was our last session. He started to ditch me and the second time I tried to do it, he decided to complete change the subject and waste a few good hours I could have spent doing my own homework. Everything fell apart after that.

I would try to help him but he would just blow me off and pretend I didn't exist. He even started to avoid me and that hurt a lot. You see, not only was this tutoring supposed to benefit him, but it was supposed to benefit me. I had to tutor him for an important project but he quit on me. He bailed on me when it went way too far. Not only was I seriously crushing on him but I couldn't change my project either. I cried for hours with my best friend telling me he wasn't worth it while in my head I was saying the opposite.

JJ was worth it, to me he was. I got attached so easily to him and I couldn't let him throw everything away so I repeatedly called him, texted him, IMed him for nothing. Hell, I even went up to him and begged him but none of that was good enough for him. So, my best friend spent part of his birthday doing something he shouldn't have, comforting me.

What I'm trying to say here is that JJ and Keith, from the movie, are practically the same. They both sell themselves short thinking that they have nothing to live for when they do. They both are smart when they apply themselves and they have people that care about them no matter what. They just can't see that.

Maybe, JJ will finally open his eyes and start to see that I really wasn't trying to be a "bitch" to him, I was just trying to help him. I wanted to be that one person who would never let him down, he just didn't want me to. So I did what he asked, I stopped trying but that didn't mean I gave up on him. I know he's stronger than that. He's fallen many times before, I'm pretty sure he can raise himself up again without my help